trucatalyst

Archive for March, 2012|Monthly archive page

Happy Sober Sally Bday to Me :)

In Uncategorized on March 27, 2012 at 3:32 pm

 

So today is a day I never thought, or at times even wanted, to happen.

One of my best amigos, Angel, has been telling me since the day  we met that as soon as I stopped wasting all of my potential on drugs & alcohol that my dreams, and I, would be unstoppable. I never truly understood what he meant until now.

Exactly a year ago today, I made a vow to myself and to the God of my own understanding that I would no longer give any part of myself away to drugs or alcohol. I never really thought I would be able to do it, and let me tell you it has been the most difficult thing I have ever done, but through the unwavering support of those I love, I have made it this far.  I have been secretly struggling with my sobriety since I went to rehab over 4 years ago, but I could never truly wrap my heart around the idea that being sober is what “I truly wanted for myself.”  I thought life without drinking & drugs would not be a life I would be able to have fun living, so I honestly wanted no part of the idea.

No-matter how many times I humiliated, hurt, or endangered myself, there was never a low too far that I wasn’t willing to go, even hitting rock bottom was never enough. It wasn’t until March 27th 2011, where something in me had had enough, and it wasn’t because of something terrible that happened, in fact, it was the exact opposite. It was the day I finally accepted who I was and that living a sober lifestyle was possible after all. I was at a bar with a large group of people and everyone was trying to push drinks & shots down my throat.  Somehow by the grace of God (and a lot of phone calls to my sponsor in the bathroom) I managed to wake up the next morning completely sober. Yes, I had to endure an intense amount of ridicule during the first half of the night, but by the end, everyone was so drunk around me that they just assumed I was too. I ended up having a great time, and that is when it finally set in that I may be able to live a sober lifestyle and still have fun being me after all.  There has definitely been a fair share of those who don’t particularly like my newfound lifestyle (I’m probably not as entertaining as I used to be), but I have finally accepted that it’s none of my business what anyone else thinks of me.

If you would have told me that by giving up drinking & drugs that my life would have improved as dramatically as it has in just one year, I would have laughed at you and proceeded in the other direction. I NEVER would have imagined that I could feel so happy and enlightened before, and that the dark cloud of anger & sadness that used to hover over my heart everywhere I went would finally evaporate into a glowing ray of laughter, love & gratitude.

Within the first 30 days of being sober, I re-enrolled in school (my PHD in Human Science), I signed with an amazing Speaking Agency, and I finished my book (which I had been working on for over two years)! Within the following months I published my book, I was traveling and meeting people from all around the country, laughing more than I ever have before,  re-connecting with the love of mi vida loca, and most importantly, re-building my relationships with not only my TRU self, but with my close friends and family as well.

So in honor of everyone who has continued to love me throughout the years, in spite of me, thank you so much for inspiring me to just be little old, sober sally, me. I love you with all of my corazon and I can’t wait to see what the following years will bring us!

 

 

Stay TRU, Pass it on…truality.org

OWN Your Chkn Sh*t!

In Uncategorized on March 7, 2012 at 5:03 am

One of my best friends told me today, “You are more of a chicken sh*t than I am when it comes to talking about your feelings, but your crazy enough to do it anyways. You’re like someone who is afraid of heights but goes sky diving anyway.”

This couldn’t be closer to the truth. You would never know by the lifestyle that I lead, but I am truly terrified of making myself vulnerable to others. And now that my book is available for anyone to read, it feels as if I’m taking a huge nosedive into the open air (but without a parachute).

My friend then proceeded to tell me, “you need to OWN your sh*t” something he’s been trying to engrain in my psyche for quite some time now.

Own my sh*t?!

OWN my sh*t?!

Now why didn’t I think of that?!

It is never comfortable unveiling the truth behind what has caused me pain in my life, but it is something I am deathly afraid of doing, so therefore, I force myself to overcome it. We all have things we’re insanely petrified of, but it’s those exact things that will force our minds and hearts to expand.

Whether you are afraid to tell someone how you truly feel, ashamed to put down the bottle and get help, or scared to death to quit your job and pursue something that is more fulfilling, when it comes to your fears, sometimes you just have to close your eyes and take the plunge! Dive right into your heart and fall freely into the hidden valley’s of your TRU potential. Tap into that person inside of you who sets boundaries and limits in your life, and take away their key. Get back in the drivers seat and steer your chicken sh*t self in the real direction that you want, and more importantly, deserve, to go.

Don’t allow your fear of pain, or sadness, rejection, or even happiness to keep you from becoming all that you can be.

You are the only one getting in the way of you and your dreams and that person deep down, that you know you can be!

Stay TRU, Pass it on… truality.org